Apa Itu "Low-Fat Milk"?

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that the government's "Use National Language Campaign" was a HUGE success!

Why? Because some people in the service industry do not speak English anymore these days. Here's one of the many instances...

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen was between gym classes at Chi Fitness, Damansara Perdana this morning and was craving for a cup of latte. The nearest place to get her coffee was Dunkin Donut (yeah, the coffee there sucks but the craving was bad!) at Mutiara Damansara.

Stopping at the Drive Thru booth, she tried to order "Skinny" latte and here's what happened:

SRDQ : Hi, I would like to have latte please.

Waitress 1: Arr?

SRDQ : Do you have latte?

The waitress then took a menu out and shoved it into the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's face

Waitress 1 : Yang mana satu? ("Which one?" in Malay)

SRDQ : This (pointing at a cup of latte), but can I have Skinny latte instead please?

Waitress 1 : Arr?

SRDQ : It's latte, but with low-fat/skimmed milk. Do you have?

Waitress 1 : Arr?

SRDQ : Do you have low-fat milk?

Waitress 1 : Wait arrr....

Left to get help from her colleague

Waitress 2 : Yes miss?

SRDQ : I would like to have latte, but with low fat milk instead of the normal full fat milk. Do you have?

Waitress 2 : Apa itu? ("What is that" in Malay)

SRDQ : Oh never mind, just give me this (Pointing to the picture of latte in the menu)

See!!! The government's effort to ensure that the Rakyat make use of the national language has bore fruits! People do not even understand the International Language anymore!

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen Wants to Spend Every Waking Hour Sleeping!

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen has been going to bed at every opportunity she gets! The reason: She bought herself a new set of bed-sheet. They are so soft and smooth, she had the most restful sleep last night.

Sleeping on the sheet was such a wonderful experience that nothing could take her away from her bed for too long now. Whenever she is away, she could almost hear her bed calling out to her, "come back... come back to bed. Feel my softness on your skin. I'll make you so warm and comfortable, you'd never want to leave me again".

Check out the sheet up-close. It is made of 290 thread count Microtex (brushed micro fibre fabric) with embossed grid lines. The sheet is so silky soft and comfortable, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen slipped into a very deep sleep almost immediately after she climbed into bed last night!

Curious about why the new bed-sheet had such effect on her, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen googled "brushed micro fibre fabric" to find out more. Apparently, the fabric is a "sensational combination of value and luxury". It is so comfortable that it is able to provide the feel of one's favourite t-shirt!

Although brushed micro fibre is made from polyester (so it can go from dryer to bed without ironing), it is lightweight and has the breathability of cottons. However, it is incredibly soft and silky because microfibre is more tightly woven and smoother in appearance as compared to cotton.

Further readings suggested that brushed micro fibre sheets are also hypo-allergenic and are recommended for people with allergies and sensitive skin because the fabric has fewer depressions to trap dust mite allergens.

Ok, enough of "geek-talk" about brush micro fibre sheets! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen actually believes that if she sleeps on her new bed-sheet long enough, she could actually turn into Sleeping Beauty! Here are the reasons why:

• Brushed micro fibre wicks away moisture without absorbing natural body oils. They are very breathable as well as moisture and heat dissipating. Therefore the Semi-Retired Drama Queen will be able to sleep longer and at the same time have nicer skin
• Sleep reduces stress. This new bed-sheet makes her feel like sleeping ALL the time. Hence her aging process can be reversed?
• Given that she spends more time in bed now, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that it is POSSIBLE for her to lose weight! She recalled reading somewhere that sleep regulates the hormones that affect and control appetite. Plus, she will be spending more time sleeping instead of stuffing her face with food!

P/s: The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is anxiously hoping for a handsome Prince to wake her up from her sleep with a kiss tonight :)

She's electric?

When this song was released 15 years ago, The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thought that Noel Gallagher wrote this song with her in mind... She still thinks so though!

The reason:
She's electric
(Well the Semi-Retired Drama Queen can come across as that to some)

She's in a family full of eccentrics
(YES, definitely!)

She done things I never expected
(Many times...)

And I need more time
(Didn't know that he needed more time... Should have told her...)

She's got a sister
(Bingo! She has ONE sister!)

And god only knows how I've missed her
(Hahah! God only knows how she had known this all along!)

And on the palm on her hand is a blister
(She has had many blisters on the palm of her hand...)

Later in the song...

She's got a brother...
(YES she does!)

But I quite fancy her mother...
(This one, she wasn't aware!)

But I think that she likes me
(Yeah, she used to like him)

She's got a cousin
(uh-huh...)

In fact she's got 'bout a dozen
(Damn right she does... over a dozen!)

She's got one in the oven...
(NO! this one was a make believe... U wish Noel!)

Cockroach on the Dining Table

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen found an adult-size cockroach on her dining table this morning... She is still feeling very upset about it! Very ANGRY with the Housemate from Hell who hoards a lot of foodstuff and lay them all over the entire 6-seater table.

SHE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE THAT TALK WITH THE HOUSEMATE FROM HELL TONIGHT!

Too Much of Good Stuff (Is Bad)

The semi-Retired Drama Queen is swearing off food and will be going on fully a organic meal replacement diet to detoxify her system for a week. She has been over indulging very unhealthily for the past one week. The following story is just one of the many instances.

Again, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen wished that she had brought her camera along with her so that this post could come with real life pictures. A comic representation would have to suffice this time. In your mind, replace the man in the picture below with two hot women, and the food; dim sum.

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen and her friend, The Queen decided to have Dim Sum at Damansara Jaya for lunch yesterday. However, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen took an hour longer than usual to get dressed. They both ended up extremely hungry and had lunch only at a quarter to three.

As soon as they arrived at the restaurant, the waiters started overwhelming them with samples of food. Famished, the two hungry women ordered EVERYTHING that struck their their fancy.

They ended up with a table-full of Dim Sums and it took them hours to finish their food -- they were still trying to stuff their over-expanded faces (and stomachs) when people on the table next to them arrived and left.

Laundry Trouble

This post would work better with real pictures but the Semi-Retired Drama Queen was too furious to take any pictures this afternoon.

It all happened a few days ago when the Semi-Retired Drama Queen realised that she actually had two and half weeks load of laundry to do. She then decided to send her clothes to the laundromat near her apartment.

She had underestimated the weight of her soiled clothes and paid RM20 for the service. She had initially expected it to be less than RM10.

When the Semi-Retired Drama Queen returned home after collecting the washed clothes this afternoon, she discovered that the 5 kg bundle of clothes that she had lugged all the way home were not hers! The bag contained male briefs, male boxer shorts, men's t-shirts etc.

Annoyed, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen repacked the clothes into the bag and returned to the laundromat. At the laundromat, the worker refused to accept the bag and insisted that there was no mixed up. The following is an excerpt from her conversation with the worker at the laundromat (Translated from Malay):

SRDQ     : Hi, there is a mistake. The bag of clothes I took home just then were not mine.

Worker  : Shouldn't be. There is NO MIX-UP. We sort out all the clothes according to names. Isn't your name XXX

SRDQ    :  Yes, my name is XXX. But those clothes in that bag aren't mine.

Worker   : That is not possible ma'am. If your name is XXX, the clothes in that bag should be yours

SRDQ     : Look, obviously there is a mistake here. I am XXX but I am pretty sure I don't wear men's briefs and boxer shorts. I want my clothes back!!

Worker    : Ma'am, I am very sorry but we can't find your clothes. If what you say is true, someone must have taken your clothes. We will contact you once they return the clothes to us

Playing Paparazzi on Diwali

Iniya Theebavali Nalvalthukal!

The Housemate from Hell had returned to her hell hole for the long Deepavali weekend.

Yippie!! The festival of lights has never been so meaningful to the Semi-Retired Drama Queen, EVER! Talk about victory of good over evil, where the light shines over Darkness! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen finally could have her THREE FULL DAYS of pure bliss without distraction from the evil force.

On the first blissful day, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen just felt like doing nothing useful to commemorate this euphoric state of mind. It worked for half-a-day, then curiosity got the better of her. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen was indeed, very curious about the foodstuff belonging to the Housemate from Hell that were occupying the entire space of 6-seater dining table. They have been left there, untouched, since the housemate moved in over a month ago. She wondered if they were intentionally placed there for display purpose only -- and whether or not they have been preserved with some kind of evil portion.

The quest for an answer begins... It started with the packet of half-eaten Gardenia bread on the table, I will talk about the packet of fruits next to the bread later.

Looked just like an ordinary packet of Uncle Slocumm's Original Recipe bread, no? But the Semi-Retired Drama Queen begs to differ!

The bread has been "displayed" on the dining table since forever! Check out the expiry date of the bread in the following pictures:

It is not very clear but the bread expired on Oct 28, 2010! That means that it is now EIGHT DAYS past its expiry date!

Check out the condition of the bread...

Still looked (and felt) fresh! Not a speck of mold was seen! In this hot and humid climate, bread belonging to the Semi-Retired Drama Queen would have turned moldy two or three days past the expiry date if not refrigerated!

What about the packet of fruits next to the bread? Well... they have been there (uneaten as usual) since TWO WEEKS ago without any signs that the fruits will ever rot (or be eaten)!

Do you think that the Housemate from Hell preserved all her food and intentionally place them on the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's dining table for display purpose only? You be the judge, but the Semi-Retired Drama Queen certainly thinks so!

Waiting to End the Heartache

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen does not have space for eating at her dining table anymore!

Look at state of her 6-seater dining table, the only items on the table that belong to her were two water tumblers and the cake box!

The cake box was the latest edition and that practically took up the whole remaining space! This is because her housemate from hell had decided to make use of the dining table (which belongs to the Semi-Retired Drama Queen) as a display table for food items that had invisible "DO NOT EAT" tags pasted all over them--and those items continue to multiply.

P.s: The housemate from hell had stated her desire to move out but has yet to confirm a date. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen hopes that it will be some time SOON!