From the Couch of Her Living Room

Five hours to go before the clock strikes midnight. A new year is about to begin. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is sitting in her living room, overcome with a sense of contentment, taking in the surroundings and thinking, "Life has been good to me after all!"

Corny as it may seem, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen suddenly decided that she would like 2010 to be special. She would like to end this year with something she has never done before: Staying home, sitting in her own living room on her OWN reflecting about life, counting her blessings and thanking God for taking care of her well all these years!

Has the Semi-Retired Drama Queen finally grown up? She is still unable to answer that question. One thing she knows for sure, 2011 is going to be a good year! Why? Something has definitely changed! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is ACTUALLY feeling contented and happy with her life... She has put together a list of the things in life she is grateful for and thinks that the list will grow longer come midnight.

Wonderful things in life that the Semi-Retired Drama Queen is thankful for:

1. All the life's drama accumulated in her 28 years (well 29 years come Jan 2011) of living that made life more exciting
2. Family and extended families to go home to for Chinese New Year, X'mas, birthdays and all the special occasions in life
3. Friends who love her and who have been there for her when she needed them
4. A job that takes care of ALL the bills! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen has A LOT of bills to pay and life would have been really miserable without the pay cheque!
5. An comfortable little apartment (see pix above) for her to go home to at the end of the day. When the Semi-Retired Drama Queen decided to stand on her own two feet and move into her own apartment in 2008, she only had RM2,500 to her name. She could not afford to furnish her apartment after paying her rental deposit! Her home was practically empty save a thin mattress to sleep on, a coffee table used as dining table and a rug and some throw cushions to add some color to her living room and for her to sit on -- see how far she has came along?
6. A decent car to take her places
7. Some extra money for holidays
8. Some money for her mom
9. A mother who loves her, a brother and a sister she could rely on, two lovely nieces for her to play with and a cool sister-in-law she could get along with (who also happens to be a hell of a good cook and a damn good mother to her nieces)
10. Her education and her own ability to still stay sane and move on with life (with head held high) despite all the challenges that she has been through (and it was A LOT!)

Life is indeed beautiful and 2011 will be better!

Reasons to Throw the Housemate from Hell Out!

1. The Housemate from Hell is very emotionally needy and often has teary outbursts. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is only 28-year-old and is not ready to be a mother yet. It is also biologically impossible for the Semi-Retired Drama Queen to play mother to a 33-year-old woman
2. The Housemate from Hell has her family coming over every other weekend and the Semi-Retired Drama Queen is getting very uncomfortable with this arrangement. Why? Just last weekend, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen found the Housemate from Hell's husband, sound asleep in her living room, on the floor, in front of the TV. He had apparently "stripped" the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's throw cushions in his sleep!
3. The Housemate from Hell has a very ill-behaved 5-year-old daughter who breaks her decorative pieces and steps on the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's carpet in her dirty slippers
4. The Housemate from Hell has, since October attracted 285 cockroaches into the house by leaving foodstuff lying all over the house
5. The Housemate from Hell leaves the water running in the bathroom while she is at work
6. The Housemate from Hell stores explosives in the house -- 6 cans of butane gas!
7. The Housemate from Hell uses a more electricity than the Semi-Retired Drama Queen does. She stays at home (with her family members) for longer period of time and pays a rental of only RM350 permonth (utility included)

Enough is Enough!

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen has made her decision and the decision is FINAL. The Housemate from Hell will have to go!

Why? Because The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is beginning to feel like as if she is stuck in a bad lesbian marriage letting her room to the Housemate from Hell! It is emotionally and physically draining. (Read, "Reasons to Throw the Housemate from Hell Out")

Let's back track a little here... Before letting her middle room to the Housemate from Hell, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen was living a rather blissful life in her little 3-bedroom apartment.

In September this year, she has decided that she could use a little more holiday funds and decided to let her middle room out.

A string of strange individuals who were interested in the room were interviewed. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen then chose to let the room to the Housemate from Hell thinking that as a married woman (and a mother) she would be more matured and would come with a smaller baggage! How wrong she was... Problems started right from week 1 (read "The Housemate from Hell" and "The Weekend Heartache").

Now, on top of the 285 cockroaches that moved into her apartment together with the Housemate from Hell, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen also has against her will, acquired unwanted extended families! The Housemate from Hell who works every other Saturdays has her lazy-bum husband and an annoying 5-year-old daughter coming to live with her on the weekends that she works!

Having had her patience stretched, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen had the following conversation with the Housemate from Hell last weekend:

SRDQ : Are your kid and hubby planning to stay at over every other weekend?

HMFH : No, two weekends a month ONLY

SRDQ : If that's the case, you really should look for a PERMANENT arrangement for your family

HMFH : Ya, I will. But not sure yet. Don't know when.

P/s: WTF?!! However, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen has made a resolution to throw the Housemate From Hell out of the house in Jan

Looking for a Perfect Wedding Sabotage Plan

It's Monday... Overwhelmed by her weekend weight gain and Monday blues, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen suddenly received a telephone call that cheered her up and brought a certain devilish grin onto her face. Her friend, the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen is looking for that one perfect wedding sabotage plan! Big DRAMA in the making!

It turned out that the mystery guy the whom the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen is so in love with (and whom the both of them were stalking) will be getting married soon. Jan 1, 2010! That left them with about 25 days to sabotage the wedding?

"Every second counts!" the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen said. It is her only chance to have a shot at winning over the man of her dreams! Together, the both of them came up with a few sabotage plans:

• Arrive at the wedding extra early, pour water into the PA system, slash the multimedia projector screen and slash the wedding car tyres
• Take the groom out a day before, buy him drinks that will sure to give him a very bad sore throat that he'd lose his voice
• Take the groom out to party, make him real drunk and take compromising pictures of him. Make sure to project the pictures right at the start of the wedding reception
• Splash red paint onto the backdrop so that the bride thinks that the groom owes loan shark a lot of money and freak out enough to call the wedding off

Alternatively the Semi-Retired Drama Queen also Googled "how to sobotage a wedding". Here's a list of ways to do it if you are totally in love with the groom:

• Gather just enough courage and energy to attend the wedding -- or half session at least. Then decide to throw the bouquet yourself and cut a piece of cake before the bride and groom
• Find out what the bride-to-be was going to be wearing to her wedding reception, make the exact same design to wear to that wedding!
• Volunteer to be one of the bridesmaids but keep trying on wedding dresses!
• Get drunk and start telling incriminating stories about either the bride or groom
• Show up with one or two kids and tell the bride/groom, "you left this"
• Streak across the podium during the vows

Any idea on a perfect wedding sabotage? The Semi-Retired Drama Queen needs your ideas to save the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen's love interest. They only have about 25 days left to come up with a perfect plan!

Engagement Ring Dilemma

Hear ye, O brethren for the Semi-Retired Drama Queen is ENGAGED! She is on a mission to look for that one symbol of love, devotion and fidelity that every woman who has envisioned herself to be a soon-to-be starry-eyed bare-foot bride could ever dream of.

Psst... but no! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is not expected to be married to anyone anytime soon. She is ENGAGED (by her friend who is a soon-to-be best-man for a wedding) with the task of looking for an engagement ring for a blushing bride-to-be. So to all of you potential suitors out there, thou shall despair not for there is still hope. Rest assure that you could still try your luck to woo the Semi-Retired Drama Queen once she steps down from her throne (permanently) some time soon?

...back to the task at hand! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that looking for this engagement ring is a very difficult mission. Why?

1. The soon-to-be groom has a very limited budget but wants a simple but elegant ring that a girl would like to show off (so a 1 carat solitaire is out of the question)
2. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen does not know the soon-to-be bride (nor the groom) and her friend who is the soon-to-be best man said that he does not have any specifications but trusts her with choosing the right ring

Therefore the challenge is to choose an "affordable" engagement ring irresistible enough for any random soon-to-be bride to say "Yes!" when the soon-to-be groom pops the question.

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that the plan could backfire...

...and turn disastrous if the soon-to-be bride ever finds out that the "affordable" ring was chosen by a random stranger.--->The poor bride-to-be?

She is so Stalking You... Please Make Her STOP!

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen recently found out that she has stalker tendencies!

How? What? Why? and Who? It happens that her good friend, The Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen is very obsessed with a certain someone. The obsession is becoming so infectious that the Semi-Retired Drama Queen could not sleep at night thinking about how this "mystery guy" actually looks like.

Here are some info that the Semi-Retired Drama Queen has about the guy:

1. He is the kind of guy who "would blend into the background"
2. He is not too tall and not too short
3. His face is not too square and not too round
4. He drives a Honda City
5. He is not good looking but quite charismatic
6. He is Chinese, early to mid 30's but The Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen now has reasons to believe that he may even be in his 40's

If you are a guy who fits the description above, could you kindly please stand up? The Semi-Retired Drama Queen knows your name (but thinks that she should not mention it in this blog) and has started stalking you! However, be rest assured that you are safe. She would not be sending chocolates and flowers to your office once she knows who you are. She only wants to know how you look like and what is it about you that is making her good friend weak in her knees!